


Because I'm Scared of You

by starknight



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Gen, Good Parent Hank Anderson, Hank Anderson & Connor Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Near Death Experiences, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), feelings of worthlessness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 13:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16703107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starknight/pseuds/starknight
Summary: Connor gets sent out on a case without Hank. That's when he nearly dies. That's when he gets scared. That's when he needs his partner more than ever.





	Because I'm Scared of You

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNING  
> Attempted rape, psychological abuse, physical abuse, control and violence. Nothing that will harm anyone permanently (except emotionally). Please look after yourself, and don't push yourself just because you clicked on this link. <3

Connor threw himself between the hostages and the armed man - a quick analysis showed him that his name was Rick Paulson. He raised his hands in a pacifying gesture, thirium pump beating fast.

“My name is Connor. I’m here to negotiate,” he said in a clear voice. “Can I call you Rick?”

Rick stared at him, breathing heavily. “Yeah,” he said with a loud exhale. “Yeah, Rick’s fine.” He was still aiming his gun somewhere between biocomponent #4552g and #0918m.

“Please drop your weapon, and we can talk,” Connor said. Rick’s face did something complicated.

“We can talk? You promise?”

Connor nodded, smiling mechanically. Rick made no move to drop his weapon, but instead began to advance on Connor. His face was stretched wide in a manic grin. His boots clinked against the tiles.  Connor flicked away his stress warning and focused on the threat. Rick was only a few feet away now. Connor knew he should stand his ground, but -

He took a step back, and then another. Rick’s face lit up.

“Why are you running, Conny boy?” he crooned. “Why won’t you come here… here, where I want you?”

Connor clenched his jaw and took another step back. He didn’t want to risk angering Rick at this point with anything but honesty. Rick advanced again, quicker this time.  He couldn’t risk letting Rick get closer to the hostages. Connor stopped and braced himself as Rick came nearer.

“What’s the problem, huh?” Rick’s face swam closer into view. “Don’t you like me, Connor?”

Connor felt his face screw up. 

Rick raised the gun and pointed it straight at Connor’s head. “Answer the question, boy,” he growled. “Why don’t you like me?”

Connor felt the world shrink to the barrel and his dry mouth working to give an answer, any answer - “Because I’m scared!” he yelled. “I’m scared of you.” His voice cracked pathetically.

Rick’s face flashed with glee and resolve. Connor heard the gun drop to the ground, and then hands were on his collar and lifting him against the wall. Before he could react, Rick had slid open his chest panel and yanked out his thirium pump.

[ Shutdown in -00:02:32 ]

“You’re scared of me, huh?” Rick’s face was close. Too close. “Good. Nothing wrong with a little fear, Con.” Connor heard his thirium pump drop to the floor with a clatter.

He couldn’t do anything but try to maintain a neutral face.

Rick seemed to interpret his silence as an invitation. He pressed closer, his hands digging into Connor’s chest. “Say something, Conny.”

“Please stop,” Connor whispered.

Rick grinned evilly. Connor felt his leg slide in between Connor’s, applying pressure to where his groin would have been were he human. Connor’s feet lifted a little off the floor. He was completely out of control.

[ Shutdown in -00:01:40 ]

“You like that, huh?” Rick whispered to him, his face blocking Connor’s vision. His knee began rubbing back and forth over Connor’s trouser material. Connor didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing. “I know you do, you sick fucking android. I’ve been watching you.”

He had been called out especially on this mission to help with negotiation. Had Rick known he would be there?

“Why did you want me here?” he asked. His voice was still raspy and hesitant with fear.

Rick laughed, hot breath ghosting over Connor’s face. “Like I said, I’ve been watching you. There’s something about you, Connor. You’re…” His face became solemn very quickly. “You’re so special,” he said softly. “My perfect boy. I think you should know… I did it all for you. Just to see you. And now - here you are,” he grinned. “Good boy, Connor.”

A rough hand ran down Connor’s face and he flinched away, too overwhelmed to do anything else. It was an illogical response for an android to shake with fear, but Connor’s processor seemed determined to employ it anyway. It was also illogical to preconstruct what sort of scenarios could follow this one.

Vague flashes passed in front of his optical units and he felt himself try to retch.

[ Do nothing - 55% chance of survival, 82% chance of major assault, 88% chance of harm to hostages ]

[ Kick and brace on the wall - 27% chance of survival, 90% chance of major assault, 98% chance of harm to hostages ]

[ Keep Rick talking - 70% chance of survival, 56% chance of major assault, 34% chance of harm to hostages ]

None of the options were good. But Connor had to try. He had to swallow the lump in his throat and negotiate. That was what he was good at, anyway.

“How long?” Connor asked, turning his face back to Rick. The man’s eyes shone madly.

“Ever since I first saw you. They did a piece on you on the news, and then - I waited outside the police station sometimes. Just to get a glimpse. Just to see where you were going. I’ve been planning this for  _ ages,” _ he breathed. “You won’t get away from me now, will you?”

Connor had given up controlling his breathing, and it hitched and rattled as he involuntarily squirmed in the man’s grip. “I - I won’t,” he gasped. “You’ve - been - very thorough.” It was too easy to believe it.

Rick’s teeth gleamed in the harsh lighting. He gestured to the hostages without looking. “Get out of here, or I’ll shoot you.” 

Terrified murmurs and whispers shut behind the door on their way out. 

[ Free the hostages - mission accomplished ]

“It’s just you and me, now, boy,” Rick crooned, pressing Connor further into the wall. His chest was uncomfortably warm, and Connor wanted to get away from it. But he was so weak, and -

[ Shutdown in -00:00:33 ]

Rick seemed to remember the thirium pump in his hand and grinned, throwing it down the corridor. “I’m going to be the last thing you remember, kid,” he grinned. “Better make this quick.”

His hands went to Connor’s already ripped shirt and tore it off roughly, leaving Connor exposed. 

He felt horribly vulnerable, trying to cover himself with his hands, only to have them pried off by Rick. He was so, so weak.

And then Rick put his thirium pump back in. Connor’s systems could have sighed in relief, but then - 

[ Shutdown in -00:02:14 ]

Rick had put it in for only a moment or two. Just enough to keep Connor going. He felt a burning begin in the back of his eyes. “Please,” he said. Begged. “I - I’m scared. I -” his throat choked up.

“Say it,” Rick said in a soft, crooning voice. “Maybe you’ll live a little longer.” 

Connor didn’t want to die. He felt tears slip down his cheeks. Traitorous, stupid tears. “I’ll d-do whatever you - you want,” he said. “I j-just want to live. P-p-please.”

Rick’s body was suddenly back against his, and a rough hand was reaching downwards. Connor bit his lip so hard in his effort not to scream he felt it tear underneath his teeth.  _ Stay silent. Buy time for the hostages. Don’t endanger the mission. _

Rick’s hands had just broken his trouser zip when the reinforcements came through. Connor felt himself crumple to the floor as Rick was shot in the leg and dragged away by the officers. He fumbled for his thirium pump and put it back in.

[ Systems rebooting … ]

He sat against the wall and listened to the man shouting after him, what he would do to him, how much he  _ loved _ him - 

Connor pulled his shirt on and tied his jacket around his waist in order to maintain decency. The officers still in the room left without a second glance at him. He was alone, and he - he looked at the hands that had been so useless to him. He was useless. How could he pretend anything else when he couldn’t even protect himself?

 

Connor returned to the DPD by himself. Hank hadn’t been deemed physically fit enough to be an asset to the case, and he’d moaned about doing paperwork while Connor made comments that bordered on sarcasm. He saw Hank sitting in his chair, headphones on, eyes closed - was he  _ asleep? _ \- and he wished more than anything that he’d just stayed here for the day.

He walked over to Hank’s desk and knelt down by him. “Hank?” he tried.

“Wha - huh? Connor?” Hank shook awake, looking at the android in front of him. “Ugh. Waking me up… No paperwork done… Fuckin’ useless…”

Connor stood up abruptly, suddenly aware that his being here was futile. He made to leave with no plan of where he was going to go, the tears threatening to leak again, when Hank stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“Wait, Connor, you’re… Fuck, what happened to you?” His eyes stopped at Connor’s shirt. His pants. His thirium-stained lip. Said lip trembled and Connor fell to his knees again. He let his head fall onto Hank’s shoulder. He bit his lip again to stop himself from making sound, but it didn’t work. His sobs were only muffled by Hank’s worn leather jacket as the man’s arms closed around him, gently rubbing his shoulders.

“You deserve better than this, Connor, hey? So much better. Let’s go home, kid. Get you into some clean clothes. You can wear that stupid hippy shirt of mine you seem to like so much, huh?” Hank gently brought him to his feet and began to guide him out of the station, with one arm still around him and the other gripping his hand to support him as he cried and shook. “Sumo’ll be so happy to see you, kiddo. You can pick whatever film you like. No arguments from me, I promise. We can watch the whole of - uh - what’s that one you like? The stupid one?”

_ “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” _ Connor mumbled reproachfully, sniffling.

“Yeah, except you want to watch the  _ ancient _ tv series all the time, not the actual movie… It’s not that funny to make fun of humans, you know, plus it  _ was _ written by one…”

“I maintain - that Douglas Adams was secretly - the f-first android, and also the, the funniest,” Connor got out. “You’re j-just a stupid h-h-human.”

Hank grinned at him, his face softening as they broke into the sunlight. Connor felt himself respond in a similar fashion.

“Yeah, well, this stupid human’s gonna look after you right now. As best he can. You’re worth a lot to me, Con. I love you.” 

Connor pretended not to be crying when he hid his face back in Hank’s jacket, and Hank pretended not to notice. Connor really loved Hank. 

 

That night, he fell into stasis curled up with his head in Hank’s lap. Maybe the hole in his chest would never be fixed entirely, but hot chocolate, good television and the best lieutenant in the world would almost substitute for that.

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, fun fact... This idea came to me in a DREAM I kid you not. Yes, I am aware it is a messed up dream to have. I saw it from Connor's perspective. And I just had this idea that afterwards, no one would have the idea to go and comfort him if Hank wasn't there.
> 
> I hope this hurts your heart as much as it hurts mine, because after all, that's what writing is all about :) (:   
> Stay safe though, guys, don't let this stuff get you down. I'm at gay-star-knight.tumblr.com if you wanna chat. Or drink hot chocolate and watch tv together.
> 
> Also please donate to the project of making me happy by leaving kudos and comments because it really does make me so, so, happy <3


End file.
